The first post of (gulp)...2010. Not only can I not believe it's 2010, but I'm still trying to process what the hell happened to 2009. It just went by in the blink of an eye.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how to describe 2009. There were definitely some highlights, our trips to Hawaii and Montreal ranking at the top of the list, but there were definitely some low points as well. It didn't help that I felt 'off' for a good portion of the year, and this lack of balance had noticeable impact on my personal life. In many cases I was fully aware of what was happening but didn't take action to move things in a different direction. This Che sera sera mentality probably had the biggest impact on relationships with friends and family members. I should say that I've never been very good with relationships and really have to put a lot of energy into maintaining them. If I get too complacent or frustrated it becomes all to easy for me to crawl into my shell and stay there. That's where I think I've been these past few months.

As far as 2010 is concerned, I see it as a year where I could potentially face the biggest challenges in my personal life that I've ever had to face. For the most part I'm ready to tackle these challenges head on, but I think it's fair to say that I'm also scared. I'm scared of letting myself down. I'm scared of letting others down. I'm scared of finding myself in a vulnerable position. Most of all, though, I'm scared of letting it all slip away. For the time being all I can do is go into 2010 fully aware of my faults and fears and continue down the road towards the person I want to be. To quote from Anne of Green Gables (the movie): "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."

Happy New Year to all!